Missadventures in Dating - The life saver

Not all of my bad experiences in dating have come from meeting dating site people.  Actually I have met some lovely people, who didn't like me or I wasn't into dating via dating sites.  Sometimes you drive right into a dating scenario.

So, I commute 40ish minutes to work and home each day.  As a result of being a incessant optimist, I am always late.  Speeding happens.  It is my fault and as I have ever gotten caught, I know it is my fault and take my shame ticket.  That morning, was one such morning.  Speeding down the interstate and I see the lights behind me.  Damn.

I pull over and get my information ready.  He comes around to my passenger window because of the speeding vehicles on the other side. I roll the window down and hand him my information. We go through the "Do you know why I pulled you over" song and dance.  I know what is coming and I own up to my speeding.

Suddenly he is coughing like he forgot to keep his lungs on the inside.  I had a fresh bottle of water in my passenger seat, so I hand it to him.  He gulps down about half of it and finally is able to catch his breath.  I am glad because I didn't want to get in trouble for killing a cop when the dude couldn't breathe in the first place.

After he has his air where it should be and has working lungs again.  He tries to hand the half drank water bottle back to me.  I am not quite sure what he thought I was going to do with it at that point.  So joking I said "Nah, you keep it, you can just get the next drink."  Look how witty I am!

"Seriously?" - Him a little surprised
"Um... sure." - Me not sure what he is surprised by
"So, like how about Friday?" - Him mentally thinking through his social calendar.
"Oh, ummm... Yea, that works for me." - Wait, what?

All of a sudden we were exchanging cell numbers and I had a date.  As I got back on the interstate towards work I realized that, while I had a date, I had no speeding ticket!

WTF!  Is my life a movie now?  Who does this happen to?  I had to tell the world so, I told facebook.  My friends also couldn't believe my life.

On Friday, he messaged me to make sure we were still on for that night, and he asked where I wanted to eat.  I chose a semi nice place that we could both drive to.  That planned I was anxious for this. He was fit, and handsome.  Probably about my age.  This could be fun, and what a story would it be if it worked out and we got married!

After work I gussied up and drove to the restaurant.  There he was waiting outside.  There was a short wait and as we waited on the bench outside, I asked him if we could take a picture together. I had many people interested in how our date was going to go, and thought it would be fun to share.

"Aren't you a bit old for that?" - With disdain on his face...
"Oh, well I just thought it would be fun." Don't tell me 30 is to old for selfies! "I am going to use the restroom before we head in."

From there I went to the restroom, because twitter, and shared my moment.

From there the date just went down hill.  While he was a gentleman in his actions and such, he wasn't a fan of anything I was.  "You teach science, most of that is brain washing the kids.  I am a Christian." (So was I?)  "Theater?  that is for drama queens and gays." Erm...  And so on till I decided to focus on my grilled chicken and mashed potatoes.

As the night came to a close and we were heading to our individual cars,

"So, you want to come back to my place?" He asks...
"Um, no."  Did he not hear our conversation in there?
"You aren't going to want to see me again, are you?" He finally realizes.
"Thank you for dinner, and the evening, but that would be a no." Duh

He kind of nodded and walked away.  So much for my awesome wedding story.  Welp, it was bed for me.  I was proctoring the ACT's the next morning and was anxious to tell my evening to my friends.

PS - I have cut back on my speeding a ton.  If he pulls me over again, I am pretty sure I am screwed.

Missadventures in Dating - A Dinosaur

When I explain that I have had bad luck with dating, I am afraid people think it is because I am one of those people who is a horrible judge of people.  I really don't think I am, I have some of the most amazing humans as friends.  Truthfully, I am very careful before I meet anyone.  Sometimes, the crazy or weird just doesn't come out right away.

The Dinosaur.  

On dating sites, you wouldn't (or maybe you would) believe the people out there.  I tried the quiz based -  pay sites, and was not impressed... especially when they said there was no one in my state (that I didn't already know) who I would be a good match with (said people I already knew, were not who they publicized on the profile either.).  The Christian site had by far the most guys just looking for bootie calls or housewives.  (Please note, I am in no way looking down on women who run the home, that just isn't what I plan for myself).  The men I spoke with were very upset that "a good Christian girl"* would want to work and not stay home and pop out kiddos.  Not for me.

Finally I got on one of the free sites.  They have paid features, but the free site gave me the most control (FINALLY!)  One such control was that I could decide who could see me.  This became important when people my father's age were chatting me up.  I know people have many reasons to go on a dating site.  Mine was not to meet a 'grandpa looking to play.'*  So, controlling who could contact me was a very happy thing.

One such person was: Self Employed, college degree, decent looking, had a great smile, .... Cool.  He contacted me so I was inclined to communicate via the in app messaging.  For a few nights back and forth, we would chat via the app.  Finally we traded cell numbers and switched to just texting.  He gave me his first name, and it sounded normal enough (I have changed his name for his privacy, but let's call him Bo),  Bo and I chatted and he did seem to have his life together, we enjoyed similar things, he spelled out all his words and used punctuation correctly.  So when he proposed meeting face to face, for maybe a dinner, I was game.

True fact: I am a busy person.  I have an awesome job, but it does stay very active.  I don't just work 9-5, there are lots of evenings and weekends thrown in there.  So, when I had to raincheck our date (just postponing was the plan till...) Bo got all upset.

"But I invited my parents!"

Woah... what?

Turns out texting a person is now the same as dating?  So every day we texted had been a day we had been dating.  So, since we had been 'dating' now for a couple of weeks he wanted me to meet his family.

It was this time also that I received his FB request and discovered that he had legally changed his name to a dinosaur.  Add that fact to his need to text me, 30+ times a day (pre 6 am, and all day at work.  I tried to explain that: "Dude, I am at work please don't text me so much."*)  So, via the dating app I said I no longer wanted to continue forward.  The following are the pursuing text messages.

Welp, guess I ruined my chance.  And people who think girls have no need to fear in modern times, ... case in point.  Yes, this guy is looney, but it isn't the first time I have been spoken to thusly for saying I wasn't interested.

P.S. After this began background checking all potential dates met on line.  You live, you learn.
* All quoted parts of this were truly said things.  I only had screen shot and saved the last conversation (which he still tried contacting me...) because of it's crazy.

Spy Periscope

This past week I let a Spy Camp, which was a total blast.  One of the things the students wanted to make that I hadn't even thought about was a spy periscope to see around corners.  "Whelllll... um, sure. Give me 5 minutes to figure it out."  So as the students worked on their hollowed out books I set myself to the task.  I googled it first (because why reinvent when you can borrow).  I found a pattern that used cardboard orange juice cartons.  I didn't have those in such short notice but I could make a long square prism... So here is what I came up with.  It all worked pretty smooth actually.

You will need: 

2 8.5"x11" cardstock papers
ruler
sissors
pencil
mirror
tape

Instructions: 

1. Do the following with BOTH sheets of paper!
Across the top and bottom of the page make a mark on the 2", 4", 6", and 8" (This give you 4 x 2" areas and a .5" area)

2. Draw a line from the top 2" to the bottom 2", and so on with each line till you have 4 vertical lines.

3. Keeping the page vertical, draw a line 1" up across the bottom of the page.  In the second column only, draw a horizontal line 2" up from the bottom and 4" up from the bottom.  That should create a window space only in the 2nd column.  (see above)

4.  Fold on all the vertical lines.

5. Now cut out the second column window.

6.  Fold into a rectangular prism and tape shut

7.  Cut your mirror into rectangles 1 3/4" by 2 3/4" .  Then using tape insert mirror on the inside wall of the prism opposite the window, so that the top of the window and the top of the mirror line up.

These do line up on the left, but the angle of the picture is off.
In this the tube-y part is to the left, the opening is to the right. 

8. Angle the mirror so the bottom of the mirror touches the opening of the window. Then tape it so it stays in that diagonal (45 degree) angle.  If sitting on the table when you look into it, you should see the ceiling.  

See my fingers reflection in the window from my hand at the top?

9. Now, that 1" marking across the bottom, cut the corners up to that marking. We will fold those into overlap creating a closed end, and tape them secure. 

10.  Now with the open ends facing each other, and the windows facing in opposite directions, insert one prism into the other.  You may need to bend them a little bit. Now go to a corner and see what is around the way! 

Confetti Poppers

As the name of this blog implys, I adore all things shiny.  A friend once told me my spirit animal is a disco ball.  So, truly anytime I can add glitter, I am a happy crafter.

This craft is one that can be modified for time of the year, and size.

What you will need: 

Tissue paper
Glitter/confetti
Construction Paper
Sissors
Tape
Ribbon

Steps: 

1. Get your piece of tissue paper.  I cut mine aproximately 1'x1'... Really I opened the really long sheets, and cut them in 1/4ths.

2. Get two pieces of construction paper and place them on your tissue paper, 2/3rds of the way down on the left and right sides of the tissue, we want there to be a tiny gap between the construction paper where you can see the tissue paper.

3,  Tape the constrution paper at the top and bottom, MAKE SURE THAT THE TAPE DOESN'T CROSS INTO THAT MIDDLE GAP.

4. Add the goodies into the very middle of the paper.  Keep there in a pile.  Be careful through out to make sure that the goodies don't fall out the end.  (this can be done instead between steps 7 and 8)

5. Keeping the middle gap vertical, carefully roll it all into a tube.  When rolled my tubes are about 1.5" in diameter.  The goal is to have a tube to put the glitter/confetti in.

6.  Tape the tube so it stays rolled (horizontally on the edge of the tissue paper), MAKE SURE THAT THE TAPE DOESN'T CROSS INTO THAT MIDDLE GAP.

7.  About 2"-3" from the left edge tightly tie the string, The string should scrunch all the tissue/construction paper together and make it so nothing put inside can fall out.

8.  Tie off the right side the same as the left.

9. TIME TO POP 'EM

                  Holding the areas to the outsides of the string ties, pull apart and up.  (If you pull apart and down, it will all open on the floor.  If you do it up, the goodies rain down on you from above.)

Notes: 

If made a smidge bigger you could put small individually wrapped candies in here.  Yum and Fun!  

The reason for the middle vertical gap is so that it breaks open cleanly, if not there, it tends to break off near a tie.  

Have fun and Enjoy!!!